A Well-intentioned Traitor, Just Like Me

I just finished the book "Jesus: A Novel" by Paul Wangerin. It is, you guessed it, the Gospels in the form of a novel. Since it is a work of fiction, some things were added to the story to deepen the character development, but all in good taste.
My favorite character in the book turned out to be Judas Iscariot. Weird, right? The author puts a great spin on his character, making him a young idealist that longed to see Israel restored to its former glory. Throughout the book we see Judas as a man drawn to power and the idea of change. He is always well-intentioned. So through the whole book I'm waiting for some moment or encounter to "turn him to the dark side". There's a few times Jesus rebukes him for one reason or another, but the problem is Judas thinks too much and thinks this peace loving, peace making Jesus is just a front. By the time their final Passover comes, Judas is anxious to see Jesus' power unleashed on the Jewish leadership. When Jesus clears the temple, Judas is ecstatic!
But then Jesus starts talking about how he's going to die at their hands and the hands of the Romans. This doesn't make sense to Judas. So he takes matters into his own hands. His thinking was that if Jesus was put in a "fight or die" situation, his Master would certainly fight, wouldn't He?
How many times have we thought, "God, if only you would just come down and destroy our enemies...then EVERYONE would know you are God and believe in You." But God never does.
I find a lot of myself in this Judas. Wishing that God would just swoop down with an army of angels and overthrow all the injustice in the world. Wishing that sin wouldn't go unpunished any longer. But the truth is, if sin was always met with justice...there would be no one left. I would be disqualified.
As hard as it was for the disciples at the time, Christ HAD to die! There was no other way. It didn't matter how much they wanted to stay with Him, where He was going, they could not follow. I found myself reading this story, hoping that there would be a surprise twist at the end and Jesus wouldn't die. I was right...and wrong.
There was a twist. It turns out that the Man claiming to be the Son of the Living God was telling the truth all along. Who would've thought...God in the form of man...dying. The problem with Him dying is that He IS life, so death can't keep its grip on Him. He defeated death and is now sitting at the right hand of the Father, living, breathing, blinking; His blood still flowing through His veins and arteries. I can't explain it, I just know it's true because His Spirit still lives in me...a well-intentioned traitor.
Comments
You are always one to make me look at the disciples differntly. These things that we (with hine-sight) deem so awful are often precisely the actions that we would have taken.
Peter, Thomas, even Judas. You shred the box, man.